Sir Elton John's gay marriage before Christmas with his long-standing partner David Furnish looked like yet another incident in the liberal world where non-conformism has fast been getting kind accommodation with a hitherto reactionary conformist society.
However, a look beyond what meets the eyes opens up two vital questions that hold crucial value to the women of the world, especially those who cherish the unhindered consumerist ethos of the liberal world order that believes in freedom of all possibilities, how scary it might
be. The first question that is thrown up the grabs for a wider and a meaningful discussion is whether both men and women are heading for growingly compartmentalized spheres of bio-psychological existentialism and social living? The 'gay and lesbian contracts' between two human beings have certainly opened up a very far-reaching and revolutionary gateway in a traditional man-woman socio-sexual relationship that has survived the social world order so far. However, the current fast changes in 'sexual preferences' and 'cohabitation ethics' of men and women will soon need a higher 'level of expression' of the contemporary 'preference freedom' and then, probably half the world will stand as segregated where either males will have 'preferred' male social/sexual partners or females having 'opted' female
partners. The question itself has to be understood first as what it proposes to point out is still a very nascent threat and there would be an innate tendency to brush off such perceptions as 'over ambitious derivative'.
But given the fact that sex and sexually-driven social-personal identities rule more than 75 percent of human thought processes, what the future social world order will emerge as will depend much on how fast the cross-cultural societies accept the 'changed sexual/cohabitation preferences' as normal and within acceptable social/legal rules. Even in country like India, there is a growing and strong demand to legalize gay and lesbian marriages. Even in very traditional societies like that of Bihar, a lesbian marriage demand had cropped up this month.Let us first elaborate the background of gay and lesbian marriages to understand the nature of the question.
The experiences shared by both gays and lesbians marrying or just having sexual partnerships have confirmed the fact that the so called 'non-conformist option' is taken recourse to by the individuals partly by their own sexual preferences backed by biological make-up but vastly because of the fact that they believe gay or lesbian partners are psychologically more comfortable and relaxing. They believe in gay or lesbian relationships, the 'mutual comfort zone' is far wider compared to the traditional male-female cohabitation.Many lesbians have recorded their views that with their male partners, they did not find comfort while having penetrative sex as the male partners were not genuinely emotional about the cuddling, foreplay, emotional bonding and psychological pampering which they believed was the core principle in lesbian relationships. The gay world has similar theories of 'comfort zone'.
The over-empowering feminist agenda and one-upmanship resorted to by the "new feminist females" have bothered the male world truly and the traditional 'comfort levels' of males with these females have gone down a lot. Many male clubs are opening up even in India where males accuse their women of being "cruel".This suggests that the male and female worlds are fast being compartmentalized with each world emphasizing the uniqueness and compatibility only with their own world while rejecting the other world's comfort levels.This is not the only segregation wave gaining ground in the liberal world.
The scientists are almost every day coming up with researches that claim females are "different" compared to males biologically, mentally and psychologically. The latest researches in hormones and genetics have told the world that women are quite different in their make up compared to men and both have rather segregated body and mind mechanisms.This compartmentalization of female world might not be a reason for worry to the male world as they have been in a position of supremacy compared to women but the females have reasons to worry. The fast growing lesbianism and gay culture and its wider acceptance will ultimately create a rather 'walled' women's world where the picture of females would be framed as something alien to the mainstream men's world.
The reality should however be very different as both males and females are part of the singular human rationality and spiritually speaking, creation of the same god. The feminists themselves thrive on the agenda that both men and women are same barring some biological features as part of their equality concept. The feminists have rather attempted successfully to enter the male's world in a big way and have over the years shown similar sociological and behavioral traits that are benchmark of a male's
world. The nasty fall out of this male-female compartmentalization is the growing male alienation of the female body and a resultant violence against the women that emanates out of the non-acceptance of the female world order.
The second important question that comes to the fore is the very purpose of the institution of marriage. In both gay and lesbian relationships, the institution of marriage is a casualty, as these partners might not need the security of the marriage, as their joint living does not result in children, as is the case in the male-female marriages. The institution of marriage itself is a protective mechanism for females, as males seldom prefer the restrictions of the marriage. As and when the institution of marriage gets completely meaningless, the losers will be the women as their levels of security in a violence-prone male world order will further get diminished.
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